At the Detroit Taste Makers League Sundays are my day to vent and give you personal stories about the tv show that is my life.
As a single lady *Beyonce plays* it's a little difficult to navigate the social landscape of dating at times. I'm not playing a victim here, I just know that it's complicated for both men and women. We grew up in the 80's and 90's where we watched music videos and epic movies that played a role in shaping how we view things. Thank God for parents who balance that out!
Well as most of you know already I grew up with a thing for white boys. No particular reason... it was my environment. But not only did I like white boys I like white boys with attitudes. Like the wise cracking Mike Sever from Growing Pains. Donnie "the Thug" Whalberg from the New Kids on the Block. Corey Haim...The 80's player. Rob Lowe the sex freak. You get my drift. Bad Boys.
Ive since grown up and shaken my primary affiliation with the vanilla vagabonds and opened up my world to an array of dudes who are no good for me. Let's review shall we?
(The names have been changed to protect the guilty)
Exhibit A ("Rudolph"): This one was a charmer. Tall... handsome... successful...funny... the list goes on and on. But what I failed to realize is that about 1,000 other females thought the exact same thing! We chopped it up, had a little face to face time, communicated every day buuuuuuuuuut it never really got anywhere? Hmmm okay something is wrong here (You will learn from Exhibit B that I am catching on a lot quicker now) In following the structure of yoga/buddhism it is always wise to follow the path of least resistance. That road was chock full of resistance. Turns out he's getting busy w/someone that I know!! For almost a YEAR!! Wow? Really? And she knew I was interested in him? Odd. Being played from both sides sucks. I was like a little bunny being attacked by a sexy lion while a Hiyeena stood in watch and laughed over my carcass. But hey he said he didn't play me like he could have. Thank God. Which he essentially is saying. "Hey Adrienne at least I ran you over with my Ford Focus! It could have been a School Bus"
Exhibit B ("Bryan"): We met. Exchanged numbers. Misscommunication happened. I dissed him, hard and a few times. Got back with my ex...Bryan was still on the brain...broke up with my ex again. Ran into Bryan...*stars shoot out of my eyes, cartoon hearts and bunnies and rainbows everywhere..."When the Moon hits your eye like a big-a pizza-pie that's amore plays* O sniggity snap. This guy is like the man of my dreams! He's talented, funny, has a heart of gold, amazing family, works hard, loves Caribbean culture...perfect right?? We start hanging out...feelings get stronger...months go by...he's still hurt from the diss...wants to take it slow...I'm patient...more months go by...no traction...just stares, moments, more interaction...WOOPS! After about 8 months of this...his homie gets a little liquid courage and tells me he has a shorty in the carribbean. What? Okay....#fail.
Exhibit C ("Dizzy"): We meet. We go out. We are dating. A few months go by...a young lady pops up out of NOWHERE and wants to be my bff. She's heard so much about me...bla bla bla. She calls me all the time, wants to hang out. But wait Adrienne...this doesn't sound too bad so far. Well my friend at this same time Dizzy becomes very distant. No returned texts, short on the phone. Alone time is short and awkward. Beginning of the end...I ask her if she's going to a particular party that night. She says she's not sure. Then asks me if I know if Dizzy is going. I said: Don't know. Probably. She said "O ok. I haven't seen him since this morning, so I don't know either."
woah Woah! WOAH! Pump yo brakes biatch. This morning???? Last time I checked when I see a dude in the AM I am either leaving his place or he's leaving mine. Breakfast buddies aren't the norm.
So I put two and two together. Random brawd who knows Dizzy wants to be my BFF. She saw Dizzy in the AM. They are going to a wedding together...ok...Adrienne...exit stage left.
Fast forward to 1 year later...She has the nerve to tell me she knew about me??? What the F is going on these days?????
So I was commiserating with some dudes at St. Andrews hall last week. Really cool guys. I was in a quandry about a fellow. (Not a shocker) They were more than willing to offer dude advice. So this LONG hair dont care roadie asks me out on a date. I said..."ummmmmmm" He says this:
"Hey listen, I know I'm probably not your type but I'm a really nice guy. And judging by the situations you keep putting yourself in, maybe you should reconsider what your type is. Have a nice night beautiful. O and you have a nice ass" (Real story.)
Pardon my french but FUCK MY LIFE! Why is it that I just can't seem to link up the nice dude with nice looks. Am I wrong for being attracted to the attractive? Does that make me shallow? I mean it's not the only thing I look for but shit! It's not my fault these handsome dudes that I like are charming as all get out. I can't say "O excuse me Mr. Sexy you are probably a dick so I'm not going to talk to you." I thought that exact same thing about someone and ended up in a relationship for almost 10 years. I saw him and said to myself..."Naw. He's too fine. He's definately a player. I'm staying away from him" ha....fast forward eight years and we were practically married. #fail. (Sorry for the twitter hash tags...its ruined my life)
I just know what I like and it just so happens to be womanizers. *sigh* Maybe it's a Virgo thing. We don't like to lose ever. So whenever I'm presented with a challenge or resistance, I do everything in my power to overcome it. I almost feel like I'm lazy if I don't. It's a tough row to hoe being a perfectionist. I also don't like being told I'm not good enough or I can't do it. That just makes me fight more.
Nice guys don't finish last with me...I just don't really ever notice they are racing. I'm too busy paying attention to the douche bag in the winners circle posing for the paparazzi with his medals and groupies.
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