My Pre-Mid Life Crisis.

I never EVER EVER EVER thought I would be one of those women who bug out about their age when they hit the big age land marks. Well I am slowly morphing into one of those people. I remember when I was 16 and I would say things like, "I am definatley going to be married by 22. I will have kids by 25, because I want my husband and I to run around and have fun without kids in the house." When I was 22 was trying not to throw up from my nights at Have A Nice Day Cafe. When I was 25 I was ballin' out of control in Vegas. Fast forward to 29. I'm single and still recovering from an 8 year relationship with a dead beat.

It's really not that big of a deal that I'm 30. But it's what people are saying to me lately that has been driving me up the wall.

(This one was 2 years ago) "You don't act like any 27 year old I know" -Brian G

"What? Adrienne! You're 29! I had no idea. I thought you were young" -Sylvia C

"Can I see your ID? This is fake. You aint 29! You don't look that old" -Bouncer

"I was in a car seat when you were learning how to drive" -Shaun R (24..youngster I was going to get it in with until he said this and followed up with a drunk dial...after DAY 1)
"Adrienne. Man you look good for being that old. I mean you've aged well" -Mario

"I'm just saying you look good for your age. It's cuz Black don't crack" - A. Jenkins

"I love you girl. You got it goin' on. You're 29, got money. You're my lil' cougar." -Jason C. (Cougar? Really?)

How am I supposed to dress? Wear business suites, mom jeans, and crocs?



How am I supposed to act? Talk about being 29, listen to Luther Vandross and complain about taxes?


"Adrienne. Wow. You look good for your age. I thought you were like 25"

Translation: "Wow. Adrienne, you're 29, shouldn't your boobs be at your knee caps? You listen to rap music? How immature. You got botox right? O. You're single and don't have kids, I thought you were young. Because you should be married by now. O. So you're not married and you don't sleep around. Sooooo you're telling me you're a lesbian right?"

Sorry if I know how to moisturize, have supple boobies, Eat PB&J, collect sneakers, don't spread eagle for any decent mother fucker with a penis,savings account and a PPO. know all the words to rap jams. (See that was a throw back to old LL for all you young heads who don't know nothin' about dis here real hip hop) I'm 29. Not 79. Jesus Christmas. If you want to tell me I look good, just tell me I look good...not for my age. I work hard. I party. I bullshit. I do me. Do you.

Well. I'm 29. I'll be 30 in September.

(Guys who graduated high school in 2000 or above...get at me)

For the record, here are babyfaces just like me...

Adam Brody. (I think he's adorable. And I love Jewish guys. I have no idea why?)

(Actually yes I do. I think it's because of the Beastie Boys)



Mena Suvari



The Madden twins (Kind of douchers...but still)



Rosario Dawson (Now this is different. I hope to look this good when I'm her age)

O Wait. I will be here age in like 4 months. SEE! SEE!

NEW MUSE TOOS!!! BEST ONE YET!!!!!

"THE BEASTIE BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYS THEY ARE THEY COMING HOME...THEY COMIN HOOOOOOOOOME BOY THEY COMIN HOOOOME. TO ALL THEIR FAAAAAAAANS THEY ARE THEY COMIN' HOME THEY COMIN HOOOOOOME BOY THEY COMIN' HOME" - The Biz.

O my mother f-ing goodness.

It's official! The Beasties are coming out with a new album this September! (Right on time for my birthday!) The forthcoming album is called "Hot Sauce Committee"


I haven't been this excited for a record release in YEARS!!!!!!!! They haven't said what the exact release date is but I will do some snooping, stalking, and texting to get the dirt. I heard that the record will feature Santogold. (O snap!) They are also going to be doing some mad touring this summer. I may head to NJ to see them in July. Yea. I think so. Yea. I'm going.
Yessssss.

I knew there was a reason behind all of the hoopla lately. They recently released the anniversary edition of Paul's Boutique and they remastered Check Your Head. Every time I get excited about the Beastie Boys it makes me want to move to New York.

CLICK HERE TO COP "Check Your Head"
CLICK HERE TO COP "Paul's Boutique"

They had the vinyl at Hot Topic, I don't know why I didn't get it. The next time I hit up 12 Oaks for my Rice Krispy Treat/Pretzel/Diet Coke addiction I will cop it

For your listening and viewing pleasure, here is THE BEST version of "So Whatcha Want" I have ever heard/seen in my life as a Beastie Boy fan. (Circa 1984 for those that doubt me)

My Frighteningly Sensual Experience Buying Taco Supplies.

This story is about as random as it gets....

On my way home this evening I stopped at Kroger to buy some taco supplies. Because it's taco night at the Williams Casa. Before I got out of my car I was flipping through a bunch of wack mix cds I have. I started to throw out all of the old ones I had that reminded of me of douchebags of seasons past.

I felt very empowered. Even though I looked like shit with a 3rd eye of a zit on my forehead, shiny as a mother fucker from Florida and my hair looked like I had been rolling around on a stack of hay. I said "fuck it.. I am going in this bitch and buy some taco meat...cheese...no wait I have cheese...milk...bread and water".

I threw on some vanilla cupcake lip balm.

Now here is where the story gets interesting.

The lip balm I have is no ordinary lip balm. It's this stuff I got from a *AHEM* toy party that I had. It doubles as both a lip balm and *AHEM* (sorry mom) nipple tingly thinga-majiggy. It makes your lips tingly and tastes really good.

Now here is where the story gets weird.

So I'm in Kroger...feeling greasy...yet awkwardly confident. I stroll through the aisles looking for my supplies....And I come across the frozen food section. Yikes.

The bitch who sold it to me didn't tell me that when cold weather hits your lips with that shit on it will make you feel like you are brushing your teeth with a battery operated tooth brush.

Damn man. I think the guy next to thought he was in "When Harry Met Sally" because I let out this little yelp by accident.

...Remind me to never wear kinky lip protectant to Kroger ever again.

5 Ways To Save Dipset

I LOVE THIS!

Bad Economy = Bad Customer Service.

I went to McDonald's for lunch on Thursday. I ordered 2 Super Sized Meals out of 3. The chick repeated my order accuratley and I moved on to the next window. I pulled up and I see the window lady pouring medium drinks. "Umm Miss..(honk honk) excuse me. Hi! Hey! I ordered 2 super sized meals." She proceeds to give me mad attitude and starts slamming drinks around and shit. So she gives me my drinks...Hold up! What about the fries? "Excuse me miss...what about the fries. Those are supposed to be super sized as well"

She replies: "Well that aint my fault, they didn't ring it up right. If you want super size fries you are going to have to pull forward and wait and there will be a fee." (A Fee??? What is this? H&R Block?)

What? Pay more for your mistake? Come on. At the rate things are going in Michigan I will have this bitch's job in about 2 months so she better get her act right. *smh

So eating our lunch made with the absence love, my friend Lisa made this statement:

"You know, I swear as the economy gets worse, customer service just gets worse and worse. You would think with people fighting for jobs, they would do everything they can to keep their job!"

I agree. Wack customer service goes straight to my door.

My mail man FUCKING HATES ME! I hate checking my mail...because I just get circulars for Kroger, coupons for oil changes, Entertainment magazines and bills. So I don't check it that often. But shit....can I get a little TLC when it comes to my parcels?

What happened to the days of your mailman knowing your name, how you like your mail delivered, bringing treats for your dog? (Granted I live in a multi resident apartment complex, I've never seen my mail man closer than 20 ft and I don't have a dog...still)



This is what my mail looks like when I take it out...



All crumpled up and shit.



My NETFLIX dog...



Look what he does to my NETFLIX!



...and I have to go through all of this??? Well at least I have reading material. I DID go to McDonald's Heeeeeyyyyyy-yoooooohhh

Jordan "Raging Bull" Pack @ BR Tomorrow 12P.

Rick & Ro give you the heat for this Memorial Day weekend.



The Raging Bull Pack will drop Saturday May 23 @ Burn Rubber in Royal Oak. 12 Noon!!

Where To Cop: Burn Rubber

Pass Thru Fridays. Tropical Hut! (Bung. Bung.)

Louis V x Rolls Royce =

This gawdy ass vehicle was designed by Murakami and belongs to some doucher who calls him self the "Prince of Germany"... Marcus von Anhalt.

If I drove this thing I would have to be as ridiculous as my transportation. I would be driving this in a bikini made of cash and wearing platinum stilettos.



Source: Married to The Mob

Tonight!!!

Check out my girl Monica Blaire @ the Charles H. Wright Museum for the "Monica Blaire Experience". This girl can put on a show! Don't miss this one at all!

Speaking Of Which....

Video Provided by DatPiff.com

Choc full of Roth...Asher That Is.

Yep. Adrienne falls prey to another white boy rapper with a voice that sounds like he just woke up or just smoked a spliff.

This time he's like a cross between

Rick Astley



and Eminem (Everyone says he sounds like him..yea kind of the early Em days though)




My take? I think he's alright. He's got decent word play, witty 16s, beats are aight, he's cute and he raps about shit he knows.
Can't really hate on him for that. I always dig genuine artists.

...and for the record if I was 19 I'd try to smash a bunch of times. He's a white kid from PA who likes to party in college. C'mon...tell me there's not a niche market for that????

Saved By the Bell, Razor Ramone, Teddy Ruxpin, Troll Dolls, Mario Brothers and Full House. I'll watch this about 3 more times before I start putting my laundry away...

"Lark on My Go-Kart" from ryan maloney on Vimeo.

I <3'd college.



...Rumor has it he may be burning rubber some time in July....

Nike. You are killing me!!!!!!

As one of my bffs would say..."Jesus Christmas"

These things are ugly. If I catch one of you ladies in the streets with these on...I will slapbox you with a raw hot dog.

These were done by a design student for a school project. *smh.

Nike Gladiator Mids for Women (2 Colorways: Black x White & White x Gold)






Courtesy of:

New Rihanna & Kanye Video...(Thievery!)

SoundOff TV Exclusive: Kanye West- Paranoid (Starring Rihanna) from LowKey on Vimeo.

NOH WORRY WEDNESDAYS: Federation Sound System 10 Year Anniv. Vid

Mayer Hawthorne & The County is That Deal!

Uh.
Mayer Hawthorne. Good 'ol fashion music. The boy can produce, spin, entertain and just plain 'ol SANG. He can sang so well to the point where he makes you do the stinky collard green face and fan him down with your hand. Stones Throw is a smart ass label. MHATC performed at Necto this past Sunday with Yoshi! What a show! I got there way too early and didn't know what to expect, but Yoshi definitely set the night off. His R&B hype man is the TRUTH!!! And his record: "The Talent Show" is great!

Then Hawthorne got on and just ripped it from beginning to end. And then ripped it again with an encore. When he did a doo-wop cover of M.I.A.'s "Paper Planes" I think I slightly urinated on myself and maybe even shed a single tear. (Like the Native American in the littering commercial from the 1980's) Amazing. I am a Mayer Hawthorne cheerleader all day and all night. If you have any sense you will buy his shit. "I Wish It Would Rain" is straight baby making music. (I think I'm pregnant right now, just thinking about it)

He was supposed to spin this weekend at Bosco, but it has been rescheduled to May 28 upstairs @ Ronin in Royal Oak. My girl Angela will be behind the bar so tip her well and dance your ass off.

Drake Freestyle In Detroit! (Swoon!)

Drake Freestyling In Detroit from Flying With Da Fishes Blog on Vimeo.

NOH WORRY WEDNESDAY: I CANT WAIT TO GO HOME!

Yesssss-suh! I'm headed to the islands. In a few weeks I'll be slow dancing with man who's barely 21 with no shirt on somewhere on the beach. Don't know if I'm going to Jamaica or St. John, as long as there is sand, rum and nudity I'm there.

NOH WORRY WEDNESDAY: Bom Track.

This is what I will be doing there.....

Revive Gets It In With Buttery Smooth Air Yeezy's

O So Fire.

O So Crack.

Revive* keeps heat in the streets with the new Air Yeezy's!!!!
Revive is everywhere in these streets, Hypebeast calls these out and even Yeezy himself on his own blog (kanyeunivercity.com/blog) Cop them fast. They will be gone very quickly.

The Bottoms of these bitches glow in the dark.




There is a matching tee for these....Not sure if Revive has this or not. The shirt is a collabo with Nike Sportswear New Zealand and QBIC.



*Revive = Detroit TasteMaker Boutique Selection.
(383 Hamilton Row, Birmingham, MI 248-593-9788)

...o and ladies for the record...the owner is quite a looker.

Could My Life Be Like This With Jim Jones????

Detroit <3 Danny Brown. Danny Brown <3 Gucci. Gucci <3 Me!

Danny Brown...Danny Brown...Danny Brown...

Danny Brown is an official member of the Detroit Tastmaker's League. Here are a few reasons.

1. The Hot Soup LP produced by Nick Speed. I have about 8 copies of this thing I still listen to it just about everyday even a year after it's release.

2. The Danny Johnson LP coming out soon. I know it's going to be crack. I'm just waiting for him to hook me up with some leaks. But for now you can peep the leak on nahright.com where they show him some love for his work he's doing with Johnson & Johnson.

Copy and paste the link: (my hyperlink options are acting a little fugazi)

http://nahright.com/news/2009/05/20/danny-brown-ft-constantine-cant-find-my-mind-prod-blu-mainframe/


3. This mother fucker rocked the ILLEST Gucci Sweatshirt at the Black Milk Big Band Show at the Magic Stick. For those that missed it, his reggae set was PHENOM!!!!


(Pic courtesy of Jon A. )

After 100 Posts...This is Where I'm Vacationing From Blogging This Summer

I just have to remember to pack my neon pink bikini, hairspray, recyclable yarder and fake Chanel sunglasses...Brugh.

Get Your Blackberry's, Calendars and Day Runners

There is soooooo much stuff going on over the next week or so...it's hard to keep it all straight. But I promise I will keep you updated as new parties come up.

Wednesday May 13:

Noh Worry Wednesday @ The Bullfrog in Redford (Reggae & Classic Hip Hop. Hosted by Chief & Rusty Deyah with sounds by King Crispy and Roots Rock Sound)



Thursday May 14:


Producer Beat Battle & Uncle P's Birthday @ The Bullfrog in Redford



Wale, Colin Munro & Octane @ The Shelter



Friday May 15:


Black Milk @ The Magic Stick $5.... so sweet.



Saturday May 16:

I'M GOING TO A WEDDING!! (For the record the 1st wedding I've ever been to without Boobins...)

But what's poppin' after that?????

Sunday May 17:

Mayer Hawthorne Live @ Necto, Ann Arbor
(SO EXCITED FOR THIS! I wished for Stones Throw to bring Haircut home and it happened!!!!! This is going to be good!)



Tuesday May 19:

Private Record Release Party for Eminem. (Don't ask me for tickets or how to get in)



Wednesday May 20:

Red Bull Music Academy Info Session @ Nikki's Pizza Loft Space, Detroit (Got musical talent? Learn about How Red Bull is paying you to go to London England for free! Plus free booze & food. Hosted by Gillespie)



Noh Worry Wednesday (Each and every Wednesday @ the Bullfrog. Sounds by Roots Rock and King Crispy)

I would suggest getting on the text messaging list for this one)

Friday May 22:

Mayer Hawthorne a.k.a. Haircut spinning at the Bosco! Get there early. This will be packed!! It's gonna be soooo live!!!



Saturday May 23:

House Shoes is back in this bitch...Raising money for Ma Dukes

Coming Soon to A Store Near You: Detroit Taste Makers League Launch Party.

Why can't we do this shit in Detroit???? It takes Houseshoes, Mayer Hawthorne, Jackson Perry, IX & Buff to go to LA to have the livest parties IN A STORE???? What the fuck??? We have in stores, but nothing like this. Holla at me to plan your in store.

DTML International Selection: Fafinette!

French artist Fafinette is amazing. Her illustrations are hip, sexy and just plain awesome!

Check out some of her pieces...





If I was a Fafinette, I think this is what I might look like...(but if you can draw that looks more like me...holla...big boobs, glasses & dunks!!



She has come out with sneakers before, but they really didn't tickle my fancy until now. In October she will be coming out with 5 models of the Adidas Honey Mids. (Source: www.hypebeast.com)





Check out some of her work at: www.fafi.net

This is What Hip Hop Is ALL About.

(Big shouts to Kenny My God Complex for putting me on to this)

Now it's time to pay it forward. By the way... this video was a 1 Take Jake.

Nyle "Let The Beat Build" from Nyle on Vimeo.

Eminem in Germany (*smh)

50 Can't Spit Water Through His 2 Front Teeth Anymore!!!

A muhfugga got VENEERS it looks like....ha!
But on a serious note, this is maybe the worst 5 minutes of entertainment ever.
Except for the stack of AF1's

My Imaginary Posse...

I used to listen to Wendy Williams (Drag Queen of All Media). She had this thing she called "A Friend In My Head". It's those celebrities you think you'd be friends with in real life if you knew them. Like one of my work bff's Marty...his BFFIHH (Best Fuckin Friend In His Head) is Kourtney Kardashian.



Marty: "I like her because is just real mean to everyone and shows no emotion. But I like Julia Louis Dreyfus, Wanda Sykes and Kathy Griffin...I like anyone that is really short apparently!"

Well here is my posse in my head...

BFF: Christina Applegate (I would have so much fun with her...Jus drinkin' booze and talkin' shit! And we can talk about how poorly we dressed in the late 80's early 90's)



My Back Up BFF: Cameron Diaz (We both kind of act like idiots, but we have the same taste in dudes. Unfortunately our friendship would not have lasted too long as I would have smashed with Justin behind her back on countless occassions. Anyone have Jessica Biel's phone number?)



My Guy BFF: Dave Chappelle (Tell me you wouldn't want to hang out w/ me and Dave??!!)


My Back Up Guy BFF: Kanye West (I <3 Kanye. He is def running neck and neck with Dave. We would talk about music and fashion all day. yessssss)



The One Guy Friend That Pretends to Be my Guy Friend, but really only wants to smash: TIE! (Ghostface & Jim Jones)




My Frienemy: Rihanna. (I'd be friends with her because we are both pretty. But I'd hate on her behind her back because she's prettier, rich, has more money and is better looking. But she jocks my hairstyle and the way I dress...bitch. But I'd wear really low cut tops around Chris Brown...until he smacked me then I'd kick him in the balls)



My Cool Friend that I am openly jealous of to the point of borderline girl crush: M.I.A. (I pretty much like everything about her.)


My One Friend that I borrow money from with no intention of ever paying back:
Lindsay Lohan: (She's so scatter brained she'd have no idea she co-signed for 3 new Yukon Denali's for me)



My One Friend I Borrow Clothes From: Salma Hayek. (Tits Man. Tits)



My One Friend that I get drunk with: Pink! (I know that if I say some dumb shit when I'm hammered, she'd easily woop someone's ass)


My One Guy Friend that I pretend to be friends with, but secretly lust after: Ryan Reynolds (It would go something like this: "O Ryan...Scarlett payin' you no mind, just rest your weary head on my cleavage, it'll be ok. Can I get you a glass of merlot?)


My one thug friend: Jim Jones (Repeat...We have a multi facited friendship)



My one friend with no friends but me: Amy Winehouse (The bitch can sing. She's a trainwreck, but she can sing)



My One Friedn from way back that I still talk to and compete with for life acheivements: Keisha Knight Pulliam (Me and Rudy been beefin' & competing since way back)



My one ghetto ass friend from myold neighborhood that I only go to strip clubs with:

Keyshia Cole (Nuff Said)



My one old friend that teaches me about life lessons and other old people shit:

Mort Crim (He's a wise old man)



My Boyfriend: Justin Timberlake (C'mon. I'm pretty predictable sometimes)


Boyriend #2: Pharrell Williams (<3)


Friend With Benefits: Paul Walker (I would never want him to talk for fear my education would regress by about 1 year everytime we had a conversation. So we'd just get our freak on)



My one lesbian friend that I know has a crush on me but won't admit it: (Missy)


My married couple friends that I can't stand hanging out with because all they talk about is being married and their kids and their dog and their house and their car:
Kelly Ripa & Mark Consuelos (Ug. If they could be anymore perfect I would probably vomit)



My one friend who isn't really my friend, but I claim that she's my friend because she's mad rich: Victoria Motherfucking Bekham. (I love her. I love her clothes. Her husband, her money. I stole her hairstyle before Rihanna did. Now if only I weighed about 9lbs.)



My one trainwreck friend who always drunk dials me: TIE! Britney Spears & Shia LeBouf




My one friend who ALWAYS gets into barfights: Colin Farrell I can picture him dragging me to every Irish Pub on the planet and just starting shit everywhere!!!



My Overly Dramatic Friend: Gary Coleman



Last but not least....

My one friend that I am ashamed of hooking up with that one night I had too many red bull and vodkas....

KEVIN FEDERLINE...

(I'm sorry, he may be a deadbeat low life, but I'd still smash. There's nothing better than a trashy white boy in a Yankee's fitted, wife beater and drinking coffee with a straw. Mo Dubbs would be so proud.)