My Frighteningly Sensual Experience Buying Taco Supplies.

This story is about as random as it gets....

On my way home this evening I stopped at Kroger to buy some taco supplies. Because it's taco night at the Williams Casa. Before I got out of my car I was flipping through a bunch of wack mix cds I have. I started to throw out all of the old ones I had that reminded of me of douchebags of seasons past.

I felt very empowered. Even though I looked like shit with a 3rd eye of a zit on my forehead, shiny as a mother fucker from Florida and my hair looked like I had been rolling around on a stack of hay. I said "fuck it.. I am going in this bitch and buy some taco meat...cheese...no wait I have cheese...milk...bread and water".

I threw on some vanilla cupcake lip balm.

Now here is where the story gets interesting.

The lip balm I have is no ordinary lip balm. It's this stuff I got from a *AHEM* toy party that I had. It doubles as both a lip balm and *AHEM* (sorry mom) nipple tingly thinga-majiggy. It makes your lips tingly and tastes really good.

Now here is where the story gets weird.

So I'm in Kroger...feeling greasy...yet awkwardly confident. I stroll through the aisles looking for my supplies....And I come across the frozen food section. Yikes.

The bitch who sold it to me didn't tell me that when cold weather hits your lips with that shit on it will make you feel like you are brushing your teeth with a battery operated tooth brush.

Damn man. I think the guy next to thought he was in "When Harry Met Sally" because I let out this little yelp by accident.

...Remind me to never wear kinky lip protectant to Kroger ever again.